Essays Contents
Family
February 6, 2024
a 4-season family room
As the populations achieve their fullness...
we come face-to-face... with... ourselves.
How can we all... live together...?
How can we all live together... in the best way possible...
as we live our lives from birth... to death...
What suits us... as human beings...
as thinking... and feeling...
as civilized... and loving... ...creatures.
Wild animal research... finds interesting variations...
in gorillas, chimpanzee, elks, and elephants...
we see each animal's interesting... natures.
We see how each herd... or tribe... flock... or bug...
survived... through time...
a family pavillion
We, too... have a "nature"... or a "Species' Norm".
So... as human beings...
what is our most healthy life style...?
what is our most beautiful life style...?
that will ensure that humanity does not become extinct...?
It is family...
... but there must be family rules.
Is the "ideal structure of our society"
one that expects each person to rise up
by their own wits and efforts
to achieve a personal success...
for good or for ill... to do it by one's own self...
to raise a family and make a home... by one's own self.
Or... is there something vital... missing in such a structure.
And... what would that be...
More and more I am seeing
how that sort of "nuclear family" structure
only leaves us... all... very much alone.
It leaves us alone as infants...
where we are cared for... by strangers...
when both parents must get to their jobs...
when... to miss even one parent... leaves a hole in our lives.
It leaves us alone... when everyone is just too busy...
to help us find our way...
It leaves us alone... all through our lives...
and no one knows... when we go astray...
It leaves us alone as elders...
who "do better" in a nursing home...
where they are cared for... by strangers.
A very lonely... and a very difficult... kind of life...
a life without... joy... and life experiences...
hiring strangers... to fill in the gaps of our lives...
while each person fulfills his talents and dreams...
... what... gets lost...
Life doesn't happen on a time clock.
You can't set aside two hours a day
for activities with your... children.
All those things that we learn
as we grow as children...
happens... as it will.
The "squabbles-over-toys" lesson's... best time to learn...
is here... and now.
Baby getting a rash... and needing to
trace anything that might have caused that.
Being there... knowing what the children are learning...
I've come to believe that children
should be constantly comforted and reassured...
because... you know... you've lived it...
it can be hard to learn what is what...
and so now we teach our children in... love...
not... from hands of strangers.
Perhaps we've got it all turned around...
in the great glory of mankind's achievments...
and can see... no better way...
no better way to keep that happiness a'rolling...
than to duplicate and continue... that success style.
but... it isn't.
We can't keep patching the holes in this model
to try to "make it all better again."
We patch that hole in our human enjoyment of life...
our enjoyment as we watch our small babies...
our enjoyment of settling those squabbles... like a king.
We patch holes in our relationships with family...
family... where secrets can be kept...
family... where we teach each other...
how to GET ALONG...
like a training ground for skills we need in life.
It is a survival skill.
We... must learn it.
and we can't fill our lives with just
superficial relationships...
and cautious... professional relationships...
as we push our families aside...
brothers... sisters... cousins...
because... "we're different."
In my research, I found few successful communes.
I wanted to see how they made them work.
Was there one person who could fix cars...
or... one person who "really liked milking the cow."
Maybe there is a successful formula...
but I didn't see it.
Communes would... hold all things in common...
"share and share alike"... (a theme of thieves, I believe)...
rather than living by personal ownership...
with each person owning and taking care of their own possessions.
If something gets broken... who gets to fix it...?
When you own something you take care of it...
you don't wait for the other guy to do that part.
When you own something... you get to know it.
There's a philosophy that follows in a commune...
rules... beliefs... behavior... food... and so...
YOUR business...
becomes EVERYBODY'S business...
to be approved or not... by the group...
and then what we would have... is a cult.
And... CAPITALISM... falalalalalala...
doesn't it have a doctrine, too...?
that we must follow...
or die as paupers in the streets...!?
How's about cleaning the whole board of players.
Let's see first... if we can define... ourselves.
There will always be commerce.
People will always trade and barter their skills and ideas.
There is no "even Steven"... each thing has its own value...
and so... we need money...
money that is trade-able anywhere...
and so... there was silver... and gold.
I wonder if these precious metals...
were... by world law and decree...
to have a set value...
as of THIS date... this time... and so be forevermore...
this amount... and... this... amount... never to change...
if we would stop fighting about it.
And we should all... acknowledge as TRUTH...
that... we... as human beings...
have needs... to be a whole human person...
and to secure that humanity with our children...
to teach them... respect for each... and every... other...
that we learn in a FAMILY...
as a FAMILY...
each one learns a lesson about their own humanity...
in the sweet security of a loving family...
... as you learn about life... by living it!
about... caring for babies...
about... cooking...
and we rely on each other...
and we support each other...
and we learn the most important human skill of all...
how to GET ALONG... with each other.
And family isn't ever really a family...
if it's just... a nuclear family...
Every willing relative...
cousins... aunts... grandparents...
is... family... too...
and we should live together in groups of families...
supporting each other... helping each other...
filling in the holes that we cannot fill ourselves...
when we're sick... or busy... or off to the store...
keeping our babies safe... and secure... with familiar people...
and taking care... of each other...
and be... your brother's keeper... in truth.
When we keep our humanity intact...
only then can we design a way of living
where all is well in the world...
and if we lose our humanity...
we might as well be extinct.
a family pavillion
